BDSM Database

https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2016/05/when-a-slave-sets-a-scene-for-master/ As a relationship matures, that initial thrill can fade. The Dominant/submissive dynamic is many things, and it’s not always eros in the driver’s seat. What tools are in that black box of BDSM that spark your magic as a kinky individual? All relationships have some form of maintenance, to keep the flame burning. Sometimes we might surprise our lover with a gift, or share a candle-lit dinner, or appear at the door in new lingerie, or whatever it is in your house that brings the temperature up. The thrill of the Dominant/submissive dynamic needs maintenance too. You need to take a look into your black tool box, and check out what tools you have and what to use. Putting our D/s Relationships into Maintenance Mode  Often we rely heavily on our Dominant to plan BDSM scenes for us. Isn’t that the Dominant’s role? Isn’t that what he does? Well, yes… but no. The nature of power exchange is that the Dominant hol...

https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2015/01/age-play-littles-exploring-inner-child/ WHAT IS A LITTLE? Most littles take the role of a submissive child in age play. There are switch littles and (rare) Dominant littles, but overwhelmingly it is a sub role. I will define age play as a scene or time (or entire relationship) in which one person (usually the submissive) acts and may dress as if younger in age, ranging from infant to adult child. That’s a somewhat controversial definition, because others will say that age play is a role-playing game only and so it’s not what true littles “do”. I’m just keeping it general. I’m using it to mean “the time when a little is able to go into littlespace” (see below). Age play may or may not include sexual relations. It usually revolves around the nurturing relationship of parent/child or teacher/student, but the naughty or sexy elements of that relationship may be an important part of the kick. Contrary to popular belief, littles don’t need to be waif...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/a-human-pet Pet play is something I’ve spoken of before and enjoy engaging in myself. For many though, they’d like to be pets, just not animals. With small changes pet play it very easily be changed to being a human pet rather than an animal pet. When you’re in a Dominance and submission relationship, being owned and collared really would be the first step, as pets typically are seen as being owned. You certainly do not have to be permanently owned; simply be your Owner’s pet when your collar is on and return to being your usual self when your collar is off. However, the question really could be; how can you be your Owner’s pet without being an animal? Well, one big thing would be to have your collar not be an animal’s collar. There are many stores where you can get human-sized collars, many that still include a D or O ring so you can have a leash if your Owner so chooses. Also, things such as limited mobility, limited speaking a...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/pet-play-human-pets-primer Pet play is one of the most unique, least known, and, in my opinion, the most fun and entertaining sub-cultures in the BDSM, D/s, and “kink” lifestyle. Now, I write this from the perspective of a submissive female, so please keep in mind that you can change the pronouns to ones that apply to you. Pet play involves one or more people acting like an animal, typically the submissive being the animal and the Dominant being the “Owner” and “Trainer.” I have heard of the Dominant being the animal and Dominating their submissive that way, such as holding the submissive down with a bite on the neck, but I am unfamiliar with this. What animals are common for submissives to be? Most commonly, you will see ponies, puppies, and pigs. I have been a kitty; as of this writing, I am a puppy. Less frequently, I have also seen bunnies, cows, and once a seal, though I have yet to experience with these animals. Aside from ...

https://www.welcometoichooseme.com/preparing-for-houseguests/ As guests would leave our home, my dad would call out, “come anytime!” The welcome mat spoke the truth at our house. It was not uncommon for friends or relatives to simply show up. If they timed the visit right, they would receive an invitation to join us for dinner. Mom was already cooking for a large family, so an additional plate or two was rarely an inconvenience. As an adult, I enjoy hosting events and entertaining guests. Especially, I look forward to family or friends visiting from out of town. I want my guests to know I am excited they are visiting. I want them to feel at home and leave with a desire to return. With experience and practice, I have learned that preparing your home for houseguests prior to their arrival creates time to relax and enjoy the visit once the guests arrive. *Hopefully it goes without saying that you will clean and tidy the entire house, ensure the lawn is mowed, and sweep and de-cobweb the f...

https://submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/sample-masterslave-contract-with-ethical-non-monogamy-section This written contract is the evolution of our dynamic - after living as Dominant and submissive and then as Master/slave with no contract. This was our personal return to living under a written contract. I will also be providing our original D/s contract and our most recent contract to help see how one dynamic has evolved over time. 24/7 Master/slave Contract Section One I, XXXXXXX, with a free mind and open heart, do request of XXXXXX that He accept the submission of my will unto His and take me into His care and guidance, that W/we may grow together in love, trust, and mutual respect. The satisfaction of His wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a slave to be found pleasing to Him. To that end, I offer Him use of my time, talents, and abilities.  Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that as my Master, He accept the keeping of my body for fulfillm...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/sample-masterslave-contract-basic This is our current contract, making adjustments from our other standard version that has served us so well over the years. Over time it became ingrained in us. I knew when to kneel, how he liked me dressed, what he expected to be called. We needed something lighter, less clunky. I have made available our previous contracts, including our original Dominant and submissive one and a Master/slave contract that included information about engaging with other people.  I honestly don't know with certainty where we will grow from here, other than I know we will change again. These road maps are useful tools for navigating Power Exchange dynamics but like any map, it needs to be checked and changed and updated. 24/7 Master/slave Contract We have reached a new place of growth and discovery. It is not in that our old contract isn’t working anymore; it’s simply become ingrained in us to our core and we n...

article:  https://www.submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/sample-dominantsubmissive-contract book:  https://amzn.to/34YAcuP 24/7 Dominant/submissive Contract I, Chloe Donnovan, with a free mind and open heart, request Leo Donnovan to accept the submission of my will unto him. I ask that, as my Dominant, Leo Donnovan, take me into his care and guidance and encourage growth together in love, trust, and mutual respect. It is my desire as a submissive to satisfy his needs and desires whenever possible in hopes that I will be found pleasing to him. To do so, I offer him the use of my body, abilities, and purpose. Further, I ask that, as my Dominant, he will accept the responsibility of using my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. In order to achieve this, he has unrestricted use of my body at any time, any place, and in front of anyone as he determines appropriate. As a Dominant, Mr. Donnovan may bestow upon...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/dsrelationships/articles/sample-consensual-slavery-contract NOTE: It should go without saying that a "contract" such as this is not legally binding. Documents such as these are intended only to provide a fantasy environment for extended role-playing or to establish a D/s or M/s relationship. They are also not obligatory and one should not expect to have to sign a contract to enter into a D/s relationship. This is tool for communication. 1.0.0 Slave's Role The slave agrees to submit completely to the master in all ways. There are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of the master without risking punishment, except in situations where the slave's veto (see section 1.0.1) applies. The slave also agrees that, once entered into the Slavery Contract, their body belongs to their master ,, to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein. All of the slave's pos...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/skills/articles/helping-owner-deadlines My owner frequently forgets his own deadlines, rules, etc, be them for me or for his own things. how do I help him without being a nag? I have tried setting up calendars, but he forgets to look at them. This can be a challenge, but also another area for enhancing your service. You can certainly help your owner out with remembering his deadlines. It's a part of what a personal assistant would do. Let's see if you can tell the difference between these two reminders. "Master, you have things to do today, have you not checked your calendar?" "Sir, you have a meeting at 10 am with Mr. Jones and a Dr appointment at 2 pm. Would you like me to meet you for lunch or something?" I'm certain you can tell the difference between the two. In the second example, you become the calendar. Since you said that you set up calendars and reminders, that if you become the calendar and reminder system. This...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/skills/articles/an-introduction-to-body-service One of the more intimate ways that we submissives can serve our Dominants is by learning and performing grooming duties usually left to themselves to do. It's not as unusual as you might think. Upper-class men and women of history used to have body servants and grooms to help them with these tasks.  In fact there are books dedicated to being this form of service professional. They are a bit antiquated but they have their use. My Master KnyghtMare enjoys a bit of service on a more ritualistic and special basis and then he has other things that I'm in charge of caring for on a regular basis. I am his barber. I cut his hair. I also groom his genital hair as it's more for my preference than his. He'd like me to learn massage a bit better since the carpal tunnel and my method keeps that to a minimum. On special occasions, he loves when I bathe him and dry him off. I enjoy when I moisturize his sk...

https://www.submissiveguide.com/skills/articles/36-ten-minute-meals-for-when-time-is-short Time is not always our friend more so if you work outside of your Tops home and have chores to do upon returning home from work, needing to make time to cook dinner as well.  It then becomes the question of how to make real food, real fast. Here 36 ten-minute meals to help you out when time are short. 1) Mix ground turkey with seasoned breadcrumbs: moisten with jellied cranberry sauce and shape into the patties; broil. Meanwhile, stir mayonnaise with a little curry powder and lime juice. Spreads on buns add patties and arugula. Serve with a toss salad. 2) Rub thin-cut pork chops with Mexican seasoning or chili powder. Brown chops in nonstick skillet. Serve with mixture of rinsed canned black beans, diced avocado, red onion, chopped cilantro, oil and vinegar. 3) Sauté peeled shrimp in a large skillet in a little oil until just cooked. Stir in bottled arrabbiata pasta sauce: heat serve over coo...

https://kynk101.com/kink-bdsm-facts/toxicity Whether you’re a Dominant or a submissive, knowing the red flags and green flags for kinky play partners is a key factor in mitigating risk. It’s easy to forget that power dynamics are relationships, first and foremost. What do we mean by that? Well, relationships are between human beings, and as such, they all have their share of toxic partners: gaslighters, narcissists, abusers, you name it.  Sadly, kinksters can never fully escape the real world— or its toxicity— unless we’re fast asleep in kinky dreamland. For that reason, it’s very important to recognize the “red flags” (as well as the “green” ones) when it comes to kink. Many red flags in the vanilla world apply just as much to the kink one. But some of those flags are specific to kink and BDSM.  While there are a number of toxic and dangerous people on both sides of the slash in BDSM, there are many good kinksters that enjoy healthy BDSM dynamics. Remember, if anyone tries to...

https://kynk101.com/kink-bdsm-facts/frenzy Frenzy is a dangerous headspace where a kink beginner excitedly seeks out experiences and partners, without attention to their own personal safety.  Frenzy is very similar to New Relationship Energy (NRE), only that the “new relationship” is actually with the kink community as a whole.  When someone takes that first step into the kink subculture, they quickly come to realize that the things they’re into aren’t that uncommon. Suddenly, their world is blown wide open by the endless opportunities to explore and discuss with other like-minded individuals. The effect this has on the psyche cannot be understated. Frenzy happens to the best of kinksters. In fact, it’s happened to practically every kinkster, including those on the Kynk 101 team.  While it’s likely inevitable that you’ll fall into this state of mind in the early stages of your kinky exploration, we’ve done our best to compile some things to help you navigate it. Why is fr...