does a slave deserve to be happy? - original article published by Master Bishop
Whether you are Dominant or submissive, you can’t have a BDSM relationship without the other. The question becomes, does a slave deserve to be happy in the relationship? The answer to this question is tricky, however, as many Dominants aren’t sure how to define happy and whether training or happiness is the more important goal. After all, contracts are nice, but a slave can always walk away from a relationship when it’s truly consensual. As a result, you might wonder what you need to do in order to keep your slave under your power. Here are some things you may want to consider.
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Defining Happiness in the BDSM Relationship
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Happiness is different for everyone, that’s for sure. Within your personal relationship, a slave and a Master needs to define what will make both of them feel happy within the relationship. This is why the contract is such an important piece of paper. On this, you can both list what you want and then make sure that you are both accommodating the other person as you continue to be a part of the relationship. If you do not accommodate the person, you know that you might not be making them happy.
Of course, people’s needs and desires change over time. This is also why updating one’s contract will help to continue to share in the creating a good relationship for the other person. There may very well be a time when a slave wants something and then gets it, but realizes that isn’t making them feel as good as they thought it would – and that’s a problem. With the ability to adjust the contract, each person can continuously communicate their needs and then the relationship can be focused on fulfilling these needs.
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Should Training Be More Important?
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What’s interesting about training is that most newer BDSM players automatically assume that training is going to be a horrible experience – not true. Many slaves have always wanted to be trained to be a slave and thus the training is just further fulfilling their fantasies and desires. However it should be said that training is not always fun and games. It is not always easy and it is not always exciting. From the Dominant’s point of view, training is a tool to creating the slave they want to control. But if the slave is not satisfied with the training they are receiving and they are not learning as they should, they will not feel comfortable in their role as a slave – and they will not be happy. And a slave who is not happy, or at least content, is a slave who will not be as motivated to become a better slave.
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Keeping a Slave Around
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When Mistresses or Masters want to keep their slaves around, there needs to be something in the relationship for the slave as well. Though it might seem like it’s only the Dominant who should be getting anything out of the relationship, it really does take two to tango – especially in a power-based relationship. The Dominant needs to give of themselves to the slave and the slave needs to work hard in their training and in their communication. When both sides are holding up their end of the contract, everyone will be happy.
Yes, the slave deserves to have the things they except from a BDSM arrangement, but that doesn’t mean everything will be perfect all the time. People are not perfect and things can be rocky at times – just like any couple experiences. But when you have the commitment to each other and to your contract, you will create a relationship that is filled with happiness – even if that’s not a smile that the slave has on their face at the time.
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